Struggling with Homosexuality.

Like heterosexual temptation, same-sex attraction torments the lives of a significant number of teenagers and adults--male and female, single and married, churched and unchurched. It's a struggle that cuts across all segments of population, economic status, and social standing.

For many, especially Christians, shame and a fear of condemnation drive the struggle underground, making it difficult to seek help and understanding. Some deny the feelings, hoping they'll go away. Many others live with a pervading sense of hopelessness about the possibility for change. If the attractions turn into a preoccupation, the temptation to embrace homosexual behavior is great.

⁷In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace ⁸that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. ⁹And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,- Ephesians 1:7-9 read the whole chapter

Adding to the struggle is a surging cultural acceptance of homosexuality and a misrepresentation of what the Bible says about homosexual behavior. These two forces have made homosexuality easier to accept as "normal." If you or someone close to you is weary of struggling with homosexual attractions or activities, the following page offers hope and direction for those exhausted by the enslaving grip of unwanted fantasies and/or behaviors. Some will find the material difficult to accept. But remember that Jesus promised to offer help and freedom to those who are willing to embrace what is true (Jn. 8:32).

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The Bible Says...

²⁴Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. ²⁶Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. ²⁷In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. ²⁸Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. (Romans 1:24-28)

⁵But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. ⁶God "will give to each person according to what he has done."^] ⁷To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. ⁸But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. ⁹There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; ¹⁰but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. ¹¹For God does not show favoritism. (Romans 2:5-11)

Q: I struggle with homosexual feelings and temptations. Does God hate me? What can I do?

You are not alone. Many people struggle just as you do. It is important to realize that God loves you deeply and does not condemn you for your same-sex feelings and temptations. But He is intensely interested in what you do with them. If you engage in homosexual relations or lust (willful fantasizing about such relations) God is deeply grieved and sets about in a variety of ways to turn you from such a destructive course. When homosexual thoughts arise in your mind, you must reject them and turn your mind to wholesome thoughts (Philippians 4:4-8). The Bible says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). You must discipline your mind as an athlete disciplines his body.

God not only wants to protect you from homosexual behavior, but He wants to begin to meet the deep needs at the root of your same-sex desires. Apart from an occasional miracle, this psychological and spiritual healing which leads toward sexual wholeness does not happen quickly.

Usually, outside help is necessary. For this reason, we would suggest that you contact a Christian ministry which assists men and women who want to deal with homosexual issues in their lives. For information about a ministry which may exist in your general area, you might contact Exodus International North America, P. O. Box 540119, Orlando, Florida, 32854, telephone: (888) 264-0877; or, Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services, P.O. Box 7881, Reading, Pennsylvania 19603, telephone: (610) 376-1146.

We would also encourage you to seek additional guidance from a Christian professional counselor who understands this problem. A book which you may find helpful is "Coming Out of Homosexuality" by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel. It would be available from a Christian bookstore or by writing to Regeneration Books, P.O. Box 9830, Baltimore, Maryland 21284-9830, telephone: (410) 661-4337. Worship, instruction, and fellowship with other believers in a warm and dynamic Gospel-proclaiming church will also prove invaluable. Don't despair. God has a solution for you, and He promises, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). (answers by Billy Graham, © 2005 BGEA)

Q: Whats wrong with Same Sex Marriage?

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:18, 22-25).

The Bible, in Genesis, in chapters one and two, provides God's blueprint for marriage and for His good gift of sex. The gift is only to be enjoyed within a marriage between a man and a woman. There are no exceptions suggested, such as homosexual partnerships. From Genesis on, the Bible praises the marriage of a man and a woman, but it speaks only negatively of homosexual behavior whenever it is mentioned.

The Old Testament states, "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable" (Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13). The New Testament agrees, listing "homosexual offenders" among a list of people who "will not inherit the kingdom of God" unless they are cleansed through Christ (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Other passages are Genesis, chapter 19; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Timothy 1:8-11; Jude, verse 7. However, it is important to note that the Bible speaks only of homosexual behavior (which would include lust—choosing to fantasize about behavior), not unchosen feelings. God will not judge a Christian guilty for his or her involuntary feelings.

Sometimes it is said that the Bible does not record any words of Jesus about homosexuality, and therefore it must be acceptable to God. However, the Bible does not record sayings of Jesus about a number of other specific sins either. When people asked Jesus about marriage, He told them to remember what Genesis said about God's plan for marriage (Matthew 19:1-12). So, in this sense, Jesus did have something to say about homosexual partnerships. If people had asked Him, He would have told them to remember what God said about marriage in Genesis. God only blessed sex within the committed marriage relationship of a man and a woman.

Some have tried to reinterpret what the Bible says, in an effort to approve homosexual relationships. For a reply to such efforts, read "Straight and Narrow" by Thomas Schmidt or "A Strong Delusion" by Joe Dallas. These books are available through most Christian bookstores or through Regeneration Books, P. O. Box 9830, Baltimore, Maryland 21284, telephone: (410) 661-4337. (answers by Billy Graham, © 2005 BGEA)

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Q: Are Homosexuals born gay?

Many homosexuals hold to the belief that they were born that way, and there are some researchers who suggest, on the basis of several recent studies, that there may be a genetic predisposition toward homosexuality in some people. However, even those who argue this believe that certain environmental factors would also have to be present for the condition to develop. In any case, other scientists have challenged these studies, and there is presently no generally accepted scientific evidence that the homosexual inclination is inborn. Also, in a broken world, the discovery of a genetic link would not prove that such a condition was God's intent.

It must be emphasized that even if a biological predisposition to homosexuality in some people exists, it would not change God's opposition to the behavior. Neither would it change the fact that through the transforming power of Jesus Christ freedom from sinful behavior is always available. In addition, many strugglers discover growing heterosexual attractions as they address underlying problems with the help of competent Christian support and counseling.

A recent book which discusses genetics and homosexuality is "Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth" by Dr. Jeffrey Satinover. For a practical guide to overcoming homosexuality, the book "Coming out of Homosexuality" by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel would be helpful. These books would be available through most Christian bookstores or by contacting Regeneration Books, P. O. Box 9830, Baltimore, Maryland 21284-9830, telephone: (410) 661-4337. Exodus International North America—P. O. Box 540119, Orlando, Florida, 32854, telephone: (888) 264-0877—provides information about homosexuality and Christian ministries which help those impacted by homosexuality. (answers by Billy Graham, © 2005 BGEA)

Q: How does a homosexual person change?

We believe freedom from homosexuality is increasingly experienced as men and women mature through ongoing submission to the lordship of Christ and His Church. This transformation enables him or her to shed the old, sinful identity and in its place learn new ways of relating to self and others. Working through underlying relational and abuse problems is a significant component in this process. Making use of individual and pastoral counseling, support groups, personal Bible study, and a same-sex discipleship group are beneficial.

Q: Can a person be gay and still be a Christian?

That depends on your definitions. Yes, a man or woman certainly might struggle with homosexual temptations and even behavior, yet truly be a Christian. However, if someone pursues homosexual involvement and refuses to acknowledge this as sin, it's valid to humbly question whether their commitment to Christ is genuine.

Some professing Christians tout a "pro-gay theology" which alleges that Scripture has been mistranslated and misinterpreted when it comes to the issue of homosexuality. All prohibitions against homosexual behavior are explained away. Sometimes, same-sex friendships between Bible characters (Jonathan and David; Ruth and Naomi) are said to be model homosexual relationships. This deceptive, seductive, self-justifying theology constitutes Scripture twisting (see 2 Corinthians 4:2). (answers by Billy Graham, © 2005 BGEA)

Q. What should be the Christian's attitude toward the homosexual?

We must always keep before us the fact that homosexuals, like all of us sinners, are the objects of God's love. The Bible says, "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Jesus Christ "is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world" (I John 2:2). The Christian who shares God's love for lost sinners will seek to reach the homosexual with the gospel of Christ, which "is the power of God unto salvation, to every one that believeth" (Romans 1:16). As a Christian I should hate all sin but I can find no justification for hating the sinner. The homosexual is a precious soul for whom Christ died. We Christians can show him the best way of life by pointing him to Christ. Our Lord said, "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature" (Mark 16:15). We are obligated to take the gospel to all.